Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
