yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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