rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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