After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
