Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
