Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
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did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
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BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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