Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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