My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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