i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
