Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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