Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize