It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
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Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
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Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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