and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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