i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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