I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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