I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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