Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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