but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
