You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
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no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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