you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
