Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
