Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
