do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
