The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
