sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
