and next time when you feel me up, do it right
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
