Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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