Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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