I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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