Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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