I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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