I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Is Oprah even human
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
