I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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