WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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