she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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