The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
