You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
