im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
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we made out on top of his cat.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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