are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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