I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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