I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
