Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
