dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize