Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
