I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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