Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
