god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
