God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Randomize
