Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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