david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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