Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
