yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Randomize
