I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
