the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
