Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
