I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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