Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
