Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
