Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
