I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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