just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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