Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize