Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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