I wish I could teleport
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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