This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
